"Young Charlie has really got himself in quite a pickle. Fees begat fees and so forth unto the seventh statement cycle. He has entered into the second circle of bank hell. The second circle demands sacrifice. Those unfortunate souls that journey here all have something in common. They have all lost something important to them."
Cut scene to Charlie crying and hugging his X Box before handing it over to the pawn shop.
Then a quick cut back to TV Dr Smarmypants "Poor Charlie has had to relinquish his prized possession for less than it was worth just to pay his bills. Unfortunately he still ends up overdrawn by the end of the month."
Cut back to Charlie saying "A man's gotta eat!"
Cut back to TV Dr. Smarmypants in the lounge. He gets this infernal glint in eye and a slight grin forms at the corner of his mouth. "By the next month his rent check is bouncing. Eventually he gets evicted and starts living in a pay by the week hotel. He has to sell his car at a loss to pay the bills. He has to take an uber to work every day. Charlie has entered the third circle of bank hell. As resources dwindle daily costs skyrocket. Being poor can be expensive in America. Now that Charlie is in this deep, it's going to be difficult to crawl his way out. At this point Charlie feels like he has hit rock bottom."
Quick cut scene to a disheveled Charlie saying "It can't get any worse than this." Immediately cut back to TV Dr. Smarmypants who looks positively gleeful by this point.
"Wrong again Charlie! The bottom can fall out of the hole you're in. The one simple immutable constant rule of the universe is that things can always get worse. When the bottom of the third circle of bank hell does fall out it drops you into the financial abyss. You have so little that you lack the resources to be a productive member of society. Without a bed, shower or wardrobe it is extremely difficult to acquire or keep a job. Without the generosity of others you would likely be forced to become a criminal just to survive. Lucky for Charlie he was already a criminal, so I'm sure he's adjusting just fine."
Cut scene to Charlie stealing some kids X Box from under a Christmas tree "Where did it all go so wrong?" Charlie asks himself as he ducks back out the window.
"Where DID it all go so wrong? What was the primary factor that started the chain of events that got Charlie inevitably damned to the financial Abyss? Write in to tell us your opinions at 123 Comments Section Town. I hope this documentary has taught you an important lesson. Bank hell is real, and you do not want get damned there. Always remember kids if you find yourself in the first circle of bank hell remember to not go to the second circle of bank hell. That's all the time we have for now Ta-Ta."
Thank you for joining us for this action packed journey to hell and back. This concludes TV Dr. Smarmypants explains fees to Lazy Americans Season One (Bank Hell). We hope you enjoyed the show, and hope you join us next spring for season two.
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