Times have been hard for Chuck. He's been living under a bridge. Doing crimes just to eat. He's fallen in with a tough gang now. Everyone else in the gang has been hardened by years of constant friction. Years of cushy first world decadence have made Charlie soft and vulnerable. Queen Betty runs the gang. Charlie is Queen Betty's property. Charlie does what Queen Betty wants all the time no questions asked. It's a simple arrangement.
The gang huddles around a barrel of burning trash under the cover of their bridge lair. Everyone has something to complain about.
"I'm hungry because I couldn't find anything to eat today." Says Freddie
"I tracked my mark all day, but they eluded me." Says the Mastodon.
"Disparity between Barney's material desires and physical state make great dissonance inside Barney." Says Barney.
"My sweet ham hocks are worn to the bone." says Charlie. He looks disheveled, diseased and dirty.
Everyone besides Charlie has a good laugh at Charlie. It makes them feel better to see someone struggling even more than they are.
It's at this point that Queen Betty walks up and everyone shuts up. Queen Betty distributes some meager loot and rations. As always the Mastodon received the greatest share. Queen Betty controlled the gang because Queen Betty controlled the Mastodon. It was a simple arrangement.
As the gang eats their trash food rations Queen Betty gets this serious look on her face. She stands directly over the flames so that it makes her face spooky and glitters off of her golden jewelry. Queen Betty had come up with another plan to elevate the gang into wealth and opulence. Queen Betty came up with these plans at the rate of approximately one per week. Some panned out better than others, but they were still living under a bridge so you do the math.*
Queen Betty offers Charlie a needle with a soft expression on her face. Charlie whimpers and shrinks back. Queen Betty offers Charlie a glass of mysterious white liquid. Her expression has turned hard. Charlie drinks the mysterious white liquid. Queen Betty pulls a document out of her sleeve and grins like a contract devil while Charlie signs it. He knew better than to take the time to read it, but he can't help but notice the University of Denver letter head.
Summoned by the power of Staying in School, Drinking Milk and Don't Doing Drugs Mr. T materializes in front of Charlie; Hand raised ready to receive a high five, face set in an expression of stern approval.
"Get his gold!" Shrieks Queen Betty.
Charlie thinks this was a general order for the whole gang so at the point that he hurls his petite frame full speed at the formidable Mr T Chucky boy thinks the rest of the gang is right behind him. The rest of the gang is not right behind him. They are all just waiting to see what happens with their thumbs in their ham hocks. Charlie grabs a golden necklace off the neck off of a surprised Mr. T. After taking a brief moment to pity the fool Mr. T hauls back and punches Charlie in the forehead. Charlie's world is an explosion of light as he staggers backwards and falls unconscious. The golden necklace clatters to the pavement.
"You shouldn't ah done dat, e's just a boy." Says the Mastodon, and she launches herself at Mr. T. A titanic struggle ensues. They take out a support structure of the bridge during the melee. As the bridge collapses Charlie regains consciousness. He grabs the golden necklace and slinks off softly into the darkness singing "I've got a golden neeeecklace" to himself and making high pitched manic giggles.
The necklace was his ticket back from the financial Abyss. He was able to get enough cash together to get himself cleaned up and get a job. The University of Denver forwarded his payment to the next semester due to some strings Queen Betty pulled. Things were looking up for Chucky Boy.
To the members of my audience that are rightfully skeptical about the likelihood of the example given, let me put it to you this way. Once you are in the financial Abyss your odds of getting out are about as good as you getting away with stealing Mr. T's jewelry.
You may be thinking that Charlie has gotten away with stealing Mr. T's necklace. This is where you are wrong sucka. Charlie has an imprint of a T on his forehead from the mighty ring of T. Once marked in this way Mr. T is able to track you over great distances. The T also brands Charlie as a sucka on sight to even a casual observer. Mr T was going to teach Charlie a very valuable lesson. Crime Doesn't Pay. I pity the fool who tries to steal Mr. T's Jewelry.
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