Sojourn across America

Photo by: Benjamin Golub
Welcome back savvy reader.  Today we join our anachronistic cave tribe as they travel across America.

Drawn from their native land of Denver by a swanky party invitation the Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon began their sojourn east.  Things started off slowly, they were just meandering by foot.  They would stop and camp for days to hunt and gather enough provisions to continue.  They chose their path based on livable terrain and favorable climate rather than the shortest route.  After several moons Betty lost her patience with this approach.  In the land of Wichita Betty pawned all of her gold jewelry.  Armed with a fistful of cash she opened a checking account, took out an auto loan and got this sojourn on the road.


Betty selected a hatchback for the efficient gas mileage, roomy interior and ample cargo space.  Also and perhaps most importantly it was in her budget.  After making the required down-payment her checking account had a scant $100 to get them across the country.  Before the first tank of gas ran out they already had made it further than the last three months.  Now they were getting somewhere.

The Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon pulls into a gas station/convenience store/fast food joint to resupply.  Queen Betty swipes her debit card at the fuel pump.  The fuel pump wants to charge Queen Betty for the gas but it doesn't know how much gas Queen Betty is going to pump.  The fuel pump runs an authorization for $1 just to make sure the card is open and active.  $1 shows up as a pending transaction in Queen Betty's checking account.  Queen Betty proceeds to pump $22.54 of gas.

The Mastodon hungered.  Wilma exited the vehicle, stretched her muscular thighs and went into the fast food joint for a burger.  Barney kept close to Betty by washing the windshield while she pumped gas.  Fred went into the convenience store to forage for supplies.  Fred comes back with some overpriced snacks, some nutritionally void candy and $2 can of Prickley Pear Cider now with 20% more prickle.  He made the purchased with a sack of scavenged coins.  Wilma comes running out empty handed and informs the tribe in no uncertain terms that they have to leave.  NOW.

Betty waits until the hatchback has pulled back on to the interstate before asking questions.  After listening to Wilma's side of the story Queen Betty patiently explains to Wilma that the promotional card they send you with the invitation to apply is not what you would call a real card.  Also that isn't Wilma's name on the card and stealing mail is a federal crime.

Rolling plains give way to lush forests before they refuel again.  Queen Betty swipes the card.  The machine runs an authorization on the card for $1.  A second pending transaction shows up on Betty's checking account for $1.  Queen Betty proceeds to pump $21.73 of gas.  Betty swings through a drive thru before getting back on the interstate and buys everyone much needed sustenance.  Everyone in the car is yelling items they want at her and she is trying to relay the information as quickly as she receives it.  The total quickly adds up to $43.62.

Forests have given way to foot hills which are giving way to mountains as the Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon stops to refuel again.  Betty is doing the math.  $40 for food, and $40 for gas so far.  That left her another $20 in her account.  Just enough for one more tank of gas.  It would be cutting it close, and she wasn't accounting for all of the change, but the card would stop her if she tried to pump too much right?*  So Queen Betty swipes the card at the pump.  The pump runs an authorization on the card for $1.  A third pending transaction in the amount of $1 shows up on Betty's checking account.  Betty proceeds to pump $19.57 of gas.  Just under $20, she should be fine right?**

The Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon finally arrives at their destination.  The monumental mountain top mansion is every bit as swanky as they had dreamed.  The party looked dead though.  The lights were off.  It's a good thing that our favorite cave people had showed up to get this place rocking and rolling.  In the span of less than an hour they had the new home owners roused from slumber and inviting friends to a late night impromptu house warming party.  After throwing a shindig under duress the homeowners were unpleasantly surprised to find the Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon had not left.  In fact they didn't leave for several days.  After straining their hosts hospitality to it's breaking point and raising overstaying your welcome to an art form the Tribe of the Spirit of the Mastodon coasted down the mountain on fumes.

Queen Betty stops by the local branch of her bank to check on her account.  Yeah, she walks in a physical location to do that like a gob nobbing cave person.  They give her a snapshot printout that looks something like this.

$100 starting balance minus $22.54 for gas leaves $77.46.  Subtract out $21.73 for more gas and that leaves the account with $55.73.  After the fast food feast of $43.62 it left the balance at $12.11.  The third and final gas transaction of $19.57 overdrew the account by $7.46.  There were fees, there was the weeping and gnashing of teeth.  Queen Betty gets back to the car and sadly informs the tribe that they would be sojourning back to Denver the hard way.

There is a setting on your debit card that determines if the bank will allow you to overdraw your account.  The default is usually set so that your card will decline if you attempt to spend too much money.  If you specifically request to let your card overdraw your account the bank may choose to approve a transaction that brings the account to a negative balance.  Then again they might choose to decline the transaction anyway.  If they pay it, you pay a fee.  If they decline it you don't get charged a fee.  Since card authorizations for gas don't immediately come through for the full amount it's possible to trick your card into letting you spend more money than you have.  Even if your bank doesn't charge a fee for the card transaction a negative account is vulnerable to the next transaction causing an overdraft fee.  As always ask your own bank about details on how this works for your particular account.  Try using the key word Debit Card Overdraft Service.  If the ability to overdraw your account with a debit card is appealing to you, then you are an idiot.  Get a credit card you gob nobbing cave person.

*Wrong.

**Wrong AGAIN!

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