Monty the Money Monkey likes to host big dinner parties where he can demonstrate how cultured he is. He is having one such party tonight. He's invited the entire cast. TV Dr. Smarmypants arrives first because he is punctual and believes that event starting times are to be taken literally. Barry the Banking Bison arrives next. He lives in the neighborhood. Larry the Lexicon Llama arrives with a bottle that is fancier than he ever will be. He has a monkey crush on Monty. Sharon the Oversharing Shark is coming for the food. Monty knows how to set out a spread. Colleen the Card Carrying Collie loves a good party. Monty throws the best parties.
Everyone is having a good time on Monty's dime. Sharon the Oversharing Shark had eaten her fill and was now relaxing in the hot tub. TV Dr. Smarmypants is taxing Larry the Lexicon Llama's bottle. Colleen the Card Carrying Collie enjoys some quick nibbles. Despite sticking to water all night she is still the life of the party. Barry the Banking Bison grazes on the buffet before roaming off.
That's when our boy Charlie shows up. He's dressed up for the party. Looking healthy. Rocking those bangs to cover his brand of shame. He has brought treats for the party that everyone really enjoys. He turns the whole party up to 11. They start rapidly consuming very fancy things at an extremely expensive rate. Monty is having such a good time he is letting it all happen. Facilitating it really. He's such a good host.
Sharon the Oversharing Shark starts rooting her nosy nose through Monty's mail when she comes across a past due mortgage notice. If you ask Sharon about how she knows what that particular type of envelope looks like she will tell you all about the time that she received a similar letter. There was only one thing Sharon the Oversharing Shark could do with a secret like this. Share it with everyone immediately.
One loud and awkward social confrontation later Monty the Money Monkey is brow beaten into telling his guests the story of how this could have happened to someone so seemingly rich. I know it's a hard concept to understand but the act of looking rich actively makes you less rich. You spend money to look rich. You save money to be rich. Monty the Money Monkey tallies his share of bananas. But all that sweet banana booty was just getting spent before he even earned it. The house, the cars, the art, the clothing, the travel, the jewelry, the fancy parties. Everyone felt really bad about enjoying all of Monty's fancy things so wantonly. I feel bad about making fun of his frown. Poor guy was in some serious first world pain.
That's when Mr. T shows up. You know why he is here Chuck. Time to pay up. Chucky boy goes down on one knee and lifts a gold chain above his head in offering for his sins. Mr T accepts the necklace and adds it to the mighty mantle of gold that adorns his torso. Mr T was a little disappointed that he doesn't get to punch anyone, but Monty the Money Monkey goes into host with the most mode and charms Mr T into enjoying the party despite himself.
For the record Monty the Money Monkey invited the tribe of cave people, but they didn't show up. Charlie hopped on a quick flight to arrive in a matter of hours. Leaving from the same city at the same time the cave tribe embarked on a nomadic sojourn across America that may take generations to complete. They will be late. Hopefully Monty's progeny will be throwing another party when they arrive. A better party. Because it's from the future.
That's all the time we have today dear readers. Join us next time as we have front row seats to watch the mighty Money Monkey fall from grace.
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