Legitimate Ladder out of the Abyss

Welcome back intrepid readers.  Now that we have firmly established that there is no reason a financially successful person would ever logically resort to doing crimes lets explore some better options to escape the endless expanse of the financial abyss.


Before resorting to taking something that doesn't belong to you consider that many people who have more than they need are actively giving away stuff to those less fortunate.  Giving stuff away makes them feel fortunate and good about themselves in general.  If you ask the right people in the right ways people will just give you goods and currency.  If you somehow think that Charity is beneath you than Crime should be beneath you as well.  Don't trick yourself into thinking that you earned that necklace Charlie.  Mr. T earned that necklace back in his bouncer days.  Taking it off his neck doesn't change that. 

There are a myriad of government programs that benefit lower income households.  Knowing what programs apply to you could be just the foothold you need to climb out of the financial Abyss.  If you are thinking bitter thoughts about government charity, consider how meeting the basic needs of all citizens lowers crime.  (There's going to be a link there to another article on this subject as soon as I get around to it.  So until then you will just have to imagine that I lifted the veil from your eyes and you are ready to accept that people will resort to crimes before starving to death, and that it is cheaper to pay for their food than to pay the for-profit correctional industry to provide the indigent inmate with both food and shelter while still providing value to their share holders.)

Bankruptcy is an extreme option, but it can be a way to build a floor on the bottom of the hole that you're in.  Many assets like real estate and retirement accounts can be saved in some cases.  Before you liquidate all of your biggest investments it would be advisable to at least consider the option with an expert.  Charlie might have been able to save his home.  You know, if he had ever owned one.  Or his retirement account. You know, if he had ever made a contribution to that account.  Charlie did not make regular contributions to his 401k account despite the tax benefits and employer matching contributions.  Poor Charlie.  Too dumb for crimes, too short sighted for retirement.  Doomed to work forever.

Ultimately whatever meager wealth you obtain during your time in the financial Abyss should be spent on making you appear like a productive member of society.  Just like the rest of the pod people.  Hygiene and interview clothes should be top priority.  Try to get a job in sales.  They are always hiring in sales.  Savvy reader, do you have suggestions for our destitute job seeker?  Post them below.

Mental illness and medical conditions send many good people spiraling into the financial Abyss.  In many cases the person needs treatment that they are not receiving.  Poverty exists for a variety of reasons and to blindly blame the victim to absolve yourself from responsibility is churlish.  There, I've said it.  You're a churl Chauncey. 

Oh hey Mr. T we weren't expecting you in this article.  No I haven't seen Charlie.  You probably just overheard me and Chauncey talking smack about Charlie over a game of chess.  If I see him you will be the first to know.  I am drinking milk right now, it's right here.  I already graduated from school Mr. T.  How did you know about the post graduate degree I never finished?  I will get right on it Mr T.

Until next time beloved readers.  Stay in School.  Drink Milk. Take some personal responsibility for your finances.



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